Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu

April 15th Cris Book Highlights- Book of Joy

Well no time like the present right? Kids are still playing DUMBAL with Pemba, we asked for the fire to be lit and breakfast for the kids is being made. I’ll write about Joy and specifically this Book of Joy.

The Book of Joy:

I really didn’t know too much about the Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, or the Archbishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa before now. I assume it was Jim Jacobs who yet again brilliantly recommended the read- especially if we were traveling to mountains of Nepal- the land of so many Tibetan people. I love you Jimbo!! Always supporting us and so wise- a true friend. (of note: it actually was Michelle Klem, Ari reminded me later- thank you Michelle!!! Xoxx)

The book shares and elaborates on a 5 day reunion of these two world leaders as they talk about joy and how joy can improve the world’s suffering. I have always been fascinated with joy- especially after having children and not always quite being able to fully explain my feelings or rather abundant joy because of them- and how gratitude and joy go so hand in hand. This book clarified so much of these emotions for me. I am so grateful for my life, my children, my husband, my family, the peaceful nature of Chenango, Elk Run and the joy I have from my dogs, my practice of medicine and my friends. The safety and ease I feel from my house and community. Sometimes I am embarrassed to even accept how grateful and lucky I am for my life in this moment.

Some highlights from the book- so that if my children don’t read the book- I hope they will! They can at least reference these “cliff notes” from their mother. 

1. Tibetan Buddhist prayer that often is said before a meal: “viewing this meal as a medicine, I shall enjoy it without greed or anger, no out of gluttony”

2. The Archbishop and the Dalai Lama are constantly reminding us that we are, in fact, one group--- HUMANITY.

3. The best way to fulfill your wishes, to reach your goals, is to help others, to make more friends.

4. Every life is rutted and no one can avoid some inevitable bumps, but so much is determined by our own perception of the ride. Our mind is the axle that often determines whether we experience the ride as bumpy or smooth.

5. The world is getting better. Think about the rights of women or how slavery was considering morally justified a few hundred years ago. It takes time. We are growing and learning how to be compassionate, how to be caring, how to be human.”

6. “Yes, there are many, many things that can depress us. But there also are very many things that are fantastic about our world. Unfortunately, the media do not report on these because they are not seen as news”

7. We must have a sense of proportion and a wider perspective. Then we will not feel despair when we see these sad things. When we look at the news, we must keep this more holistic view. There are many more positive things happening in our world.

8. Deep down we grow in kindness when our kindness is tested.

9. The most profound examples of what a meditative life can give us—that pause, the freedom to RESPOND instead of REACT.

10. This is one of the greatest challenges that humanity faces: removing the barriers between who we see as “us” and who we see as “other”.

- My ah ha moment on this one was when I was living in Ecuador for 4 months in college. May my children learn this at a younger age- maybe even here in Nepal, playing DUMBA!! Traveling does help! Education too!

11. The Pillars of joy: perspective, humility, humor and acceptance (of the mind), and of the heart: gratitude, forgiveness, compassion, and generosity.

12. While changing our emotions is quite hard, changing our perspective is relatively easy. It is a part of our mind, over which we have influence.

13. REFRAME life more positively based on a broader, richer, more nuanced perspective.

14. Every day, think as you wake up, “I am fortunate to be alive. I have a precious human life. I am not going to waste it.” Dalai Lama

15. Gratitude is the recognition of all that holds us in the web of life and all that has made it possible to have the life that we have and the moment that we are experiencing.

16. “It is not happiness that makes us grateful. It is gratefulness that makes us happy. Every moment is a gift.”

17. Hinton responded, “if I’m angry and unforgiving, they will have taken the rest of my life.” (Anthony Hinton spent 30 years on death row for a crime he did not commit, just for being black in Alabama, USA)

18. It’s hard to love others as you love yourself, as both men pointed out, if you don’t love yourself.

19. Lack of self-compassion manifests in a harsh and judgmental relationship with ourselves.

20. When we feel inadequate in some way, we remind ourselves that all people have these feeling or limitations. When things are hard, we recognize that all people go through similar challenges. We try to understand this feeling with curiosity and acceptance rather than rejection or self-judgement.

21. As Martin Luther King Jr., said, ‘We must learn to live together as sisters and brothers, or we will perish together as fools.’

22. “Tashi dalek, Your Holiness. Tashi delek, Desmond Tutu,” she began, offering the traditional Tibetan greeting. --- On our trek in Lang Tang Valley Dawa reminded us that this greeting is more appropriate and respectful over NAMASTE which is Nepalese. “the people will be proud to know that their language is not forgotten”